There are many factors that go into how long a family must wait for an adoptive placement. When you begin the adoption process with us we will ask you many questions to determine what criteria you will have when considering a birth parent to match with. For instance being open to more than one ethnicity can speed up our search for you. The more open minded you can be regarding the varying lifestyles of birth mothers, the quicker we will be able to find a match for you.
Birth Parents have a variety of needs. Most of them have financial needs on some level. Some women just need help with maternity clothes while others are homeless when they come to us and need the full amount of expenses allowed by law. The financial assistance that you provide to a birth mother is at risk, but the more flexible you can be regarding this the more birth mother options we will have for you to choose from. To read more on birth mother expenses click on the “How much does it cost?” link to the right.
At All For You, we believe that an adoption plan is stronger when the birth mother has the right to choose the adoptive parents. Each family will construct a profile for us to show to birth mothers. We will ask the birth mother to select the families that she is most interested in. Most of the time a birth mother will select a favorite family. We will approach that family first with the birth mother’s situation. This method of selection factors in to how long your wait will be. Birth mothers typically choose a profile because they feel “connected” to that family in some way. The agency has no control over what family will be chosen most of the time. However for birth mothers who give us more than one family to decide from, we typically approach the family that has been waiting the longest. Likewise in situations where the birth mother does not want to choose a family and allows the agency to choose, the family that has been waiting the longest will be approached first.
How open you are willing to be in the adoption plan can make a difference. The trends of adoption are moving toward more and more openness. At All For You, we do not believe there is any one right way to approach this subject in adoption. Each adoptive family and birth family must look at the pros and cons of open adoption and decide what is best for them. However, the more flexible you can be in your adoption plan the easier we will be able to find a match for you. Click on the link to the right to learn more about Open adoption..
The most common thing that causes a family to have to wait a longer than normal period of time for a placement is due to a disruption in the adoption plan. In every state a birth mother may change her mind about her adoption plan and decide to parent her child instead anytime before the child is born. Most mothers that change their mind do so before the child is born. Every person becoming involved in the adoption process needs to understand this and know that it is very common for a disruption in the adoption plan to happen at some point. This is one major reason that clients have to wait longer for a placement. If a disruption in the adoption plan happens, we must start over and begin looking for another match. It is not uncommon for this to happen more than once while you are going through the adoption process. However if you can know this will likely happen going into adoption and can prepare yourself for the possible disappointment you can make it through the adoption process and go on to be a successful adoptive parent.
Because we do not want our families to have to wait long for a placement we will only accept a certain number of clients at one time. As we successfully place those clients with children we add more clients to our agency. We advertise aggressively and make ourselves available to birth mothers 24/7 in order to take advantage of every possible opportunity to find the right match for you.
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Adoption is not an easy process. It is very difficult but it is so worth all that you go through to be a mom or a dad.