First make contact with our adoptive parent coordinator who will discuss in detail the general process of adopting. There will probably be several discussions since there is a lot of information about adoption that we need to make sure you know about. We will also send you a packet of general information about adoption when you complete the questionnaire on the Contact Us page.
Once you feel you have all of the information you need to know, the next step is to complete our application. You will have received our application along with our packet of general information. The adoptive parent coordinator will process your application and let you know, usually within a couple of days, if you have been approved for our program or not.
Once the intake process is completed we will place you on our list of waiting parents and begin considering you for birth mother situations right away. However you will need to create your profile as soon as possible and get that to us so we can present you to possible birth mothers. We will provide you with instructions on how to create your profile or you can have your profile created professionally.
Then comes the waiting. It has been said that the waiting period for adoptive parents is much like the labor and delivery for people who become parents biologically.
We understand that waiting is difficult for you. It will be important for you to build a support system for yourself during this process. We can connect you with other parents who have made it through the adoption process if you are open to forming new relationships. Talking to others who have gone through the process, and have a positive outlook on their adoption can be very helpful.
A word of warning: Since adoption is so difficult often people who have had bad experiences become bitter about what they go through. Maybe they even give up on adoption before they successfully adopt and they are really angry. You can find all sorts of people on the internet that can be helpful and hurtful. Unfortunately the internet has become a source for people to vent their feelings publicly but in an anonymous way. Being anonymous gives people the leisure to say whatever they want, even if it is not true and often they are speaking from emotion and not based on fact. These people are usually very hurt and angry about the adoption process. In their pain they seek comfort by saying very negative things about adoption. Unfortunately they do not realize the pain and fear they are causing other people in the adoption process. If you can find a positive site to be involved in with other adoptive parents then we encourage you to get involved, but if the comments begin to be negative then you need to stay away. This type of support only plays into the fears that every adoptive parent experiences during this process. Talk to us about other ways to get support during the adoption process.
Match
When your profile is selected by a birth mother or when the agency gets the chance to select you, we will call you right away. We will discuss the birth mother's situation with you. We will tell you what her medical history is, how she describes herself, what she wants out of the adoption relationship with you and if she has any expenses. This will also be a time when we will give you information about the state laws concerning adoption in the state where the birth mother lives. You will receive the information you need to make a decision on whether you want to match with this birthmother or not. If you do not feel comfortable with the situation we have offered you then you can pass on the offer and wait for the next situation. There are so many scenarios and what might be right for one client is not always right for another.
If you do decide to match with the birth mother then you will be assigned to the same support counselor that the birth mother is assigned to. This support counselor will be the liaison between you and the birth mother. She will arrange any communication that goes on, she will report to you weekly on the birth mother’s condition and she will be available to you when the birth mother goes into labor. Our support counselors will assist you while you are at the hospital and until we know you are safely home with your child. During this process the agency will be working on the termination of parental rights of both the birth mother and birth father.
Once you are home with your child, we will begin the last phase of the adoption process; the finalization. Again, different states require different things concerning finalization. We will work with your attorney to make sure that you comply with the state’s laws where you will be finalizing.
We hope to continue our relationship with you after your child is placed by continuing to be a communicator between you and the birth parents. This on-going communication is usually carried out by you sending pictures and updates to us that we pass on to the birth parents. Each adoption plan can be unique so the relationship you have with the birth parents can be very different. We will assist you in any way we can with post-communication.